SMI in Apollo 13

S. A. Montu

E-mail: [email protected]

 

It is an untold story of an (Islami) agnostic who has already been appeared in cyberspace as the clamourer of holy humanity.  For that last couple of months in all distinguished forums and newspapers (including NFB) and everywhere, people got n headache of listening his morbid outcry - "Islam vs. Humanity" and "Koran is Bulshit" ! It seems he has memorized only one essay in his childhood and whatever unique masterpieces ( believe me...  those are really unique) he writes now a day, all his roads eventually lead to Rome which reminds us one of the favourite childhood-stories of  (in)famous "Goru Rochonaa" !  What else we can expect from a holy scholastic pilgrim like him! Readers, guess whom I'm talking about ! Of course you guessed right - Ten thousand Thundering Typhoon of the Blistering Barnacles! He is none but our resident Vidyasager - Mr. Obsessive Compulsive Fault Finder (OCFF) - Moulana SMI (PhD). He is continuously showing his great talent of hitting the nail on the head regarding all freethinkers' identity. But fortunately, his intelligence-issue disallowed him to put two and two together. Let us remind our readers one more time which brand of humanity does the famous pilgrim want to establish in our obscene society! Let�s quote some from some of his previous heavenly  �droppings� that he has strewn all over the cyber world: 

  1. Mr. Waheed�s heedless blunders are shown in red;�.
  2. Hey, apeMan, you finally wrote something that I may find to be partially palatable!
  3. Dear apeMan, why do you even bother with "I got it" when, repeatedly I must add, you fail to GETIT�.
  4. In your morbid inability to interpret plain English, you found the gist from the above comments to be that of �rationalizing Islam��very trippy, indeed, however unfathomably erroneous. ApeMan, I�d be embarrassed if I were you, to expose my serious interpretive limitations.
  5. If Pyro should exercise his right to freedom of speech, and admits publicly that he may use marijuana, then who the heck are you, apeMan, to suggest that he should not?
  6. I thought we�re proceeding with the observation of hilarity of your poking your growing Pinocchio�s nose between Eshon and Pyro�..
  7. Discerning readers ought to be vigilant against such braying donkeys, especially so because they ( freethinkers) may appear to look like humans.

 

Here are some more noteworthy quotes from our  SMI displaying his propensity for bashing the freethinkers in the past.  Have we not seen an abundance of such highty-mighty, self-aggrandizing quotes from our resident Vidyasager, Moulana SMI?  If you already forgot that nectar, here are some samplings again to refresh your memory:

 

  1. Mr. Ali Sina only within the scope of his clearly rudimentary and often erroneous knowledge of the Bible.
  2. For instance, there was an article in "Hinduunity.org" (FIGHTING FOR A HINDU RASTRA! JAI BHARAT MATA!) in which the author (Abul Kasem ), using the initials of "A.K." on an article titled, "Breaking the Manacles of Islam",�.
  3. I clarified earlier that I am a 'Shotyo Shondhani', in principle. And since I reached that personal illumination recently, I have ceased the use of any pseudonyms that I might have used in the past, for I concluded that in using such I might have violated my own principles�..Let me ask you what 'Shatya' has it been that you are so desperately searching for which justifies your being 'O-Shatya' about your identity, and use ONLY that on the internet..
  4. In the famous �Siamese-Twin� exchanges, here is what you said: �All the quotes you picked up, hey, were you sitting there laying a bait, Bishnu boy?
  5. I think for any of us it may not be a good idea to eat 'too many bananas.' That is one eating habit of our 'simian' ancestors that it may not be a good idea for any 'srimaan' to duplicate! [Screech, screech, screech!!!]
  6. A Serious Case of Amnesia??  For insulting Ms. Lopa tasneem, Shabnam Nadiya and Avijit Roy [post #4086 in eshomabesh]�

 

Now readers, I know I shouldn't be making fun of people, but then I'm  no Gandhi, right? So, let's imagine Mr. Munir shaheb was the control officer in Johnson Space Station when Apollo 13 ran into trouble.

Apollo 13: Houston, houston we've got a situation here.

SMI: Apollo, your perennial predilection to perpetuate the intergalactic posers predispose you to the cyber pampers -- that is, out-of-luck -- which can be compared with early proboscidian caged in a prismoid.

Apollo 13: Houston, it's not a prank we're relaying. Our oxygen tank in the command module has exploded.

SMI: Apollo, do you think, just because the nasal index of the strawberry-rootbeer shake I am stowing away is a notch higher than expected makes me part of a narcokleptocracy? Occasionally I do get called a schlemiel for my baryonic fecundity to engender machine-finish doltishness, but, with my charbroiled musings of words, I can still flabbergast some reptant creatures - for example, the lacertilia lizard that habitates underneath my supercomputer.

Apollo 13: Damn it. Are you outta 'r skull? We'r suspecting a hole in the lander. So, we're going to close the lander's hatch. Do you copy?

SMI: Apollo, in objective reality there's no such thing called 'copy'? Just like Dr. Howling Fox uttered "It's either your ballerina or not", I must echo: It's either your words or not. In other words, I am antipathetic to copying. I don't know if that leaves me with cul-de-sac but the whole sanctum of mind would proliferate tactical raptures if a disapprobation is allowed. And moreover it seems to be a fallacy of bifurcation !

Ok, you guess what would have happened to the space crews if he're really the person in command.

I will be highly obliged if someone takes charge to distribute his famous story in all cyber-forums.

S. A. Montu.